My Family

Just a Little Bragging - Thu 11/8/2007
Last night was parent teacher conference and we got wonderful news from the teachers of of our school aged daughters. Besides high test scores in reading, math, and social skills, both Megan and Jessica received complimentary comments from their teachers.

Megan's 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Westwood said, "Megan is a great student! She completes all work when assigned. -Strong in spelling, comprehension, and addition facts." Megan started this school year reading in the middle of her grade average, and is now reading at a 5th grade level.

Jessica's 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Young said, "Jessica is a wonderful student to have in class. She is so bright, friendly and helpful in class. Jessica gets along well with others and is well liked in class." Jessica's teacher had to fill out the Areas for Improvement section but couldn't think of any thing so she wrote, "Jessica is doing very well in our class. I appreciate her politeness and work ethic. She is a good example for others to follow."

Needless to say, Catherine and I are so proud of our girls. Good job Meg and Jess!

Advanced Ammon-itis - Tue 6/27/2007
In the Book of Mormon there is a story about one of the greatest missionaries that ever lived; his name was Ammon. He was such a great missionary that he was able to convert thousands of hostile people to Christianity. In fact, they were so converted that they buried their weapons of war in an oath never to kill again; not even in self defense.

I was a pretty good missionary myself, but nothing like Ammon. There is, however, something else that Ammon and I have in common ... fainting. There are several occasions recorded where Ammon felt such extreme joy that he "fell to the earth" - unconscious. Just like Ammon, I have a propensity to "fall to the earth." The medical term for recurring, trigger driven fainting spells is vasovagal syncope, but I prefer to call it "ammon-itis".

My ammon-itis was first discovered at the tender age of five. I was getting my tetanus shot, and the next thing I remember was waking up. Other times include: when I was 8 years old, I cut my finger with my pocket knife (still have the scar); at 10 years old I crashed a 3-wheeler at the sand dunes (still have that scar); at 17 years old, while donating blood. Each instance has been brought on by some sort of trigger, usually having to do with pain, or imagined pain. One episode I can place squarely into the "Ammon" category is my fall to the earth just after the birth of my 4th daughter, Bethany. I was so overcome with joy that my "strength was exhausted" (just like Ammon). (Side note: The Book of Mormon always describes Ammon's syncope in cool ways. It never says: Behold, verily, it came to pass that Ammon fainted.)

My worst experience, by far, happened this past weekend. Catherine picked me up from work Friday at 6pm because we had planned to hit Home Depot together to pick up supplies we needed for house and yard work. I asked her to drive because I was suddenly feeling nauseated and a little light headed. My flu-like symptoms progressed over the next few hours, until I was in bed, lying as still as possible so I wouldn't hurl all over the place. Just after midnight, my strategy of 'not moving' failed me. I made my way to the bathroom as my gag reflexes began to kick into gear. At the same time I felt the familiar symptoms of unconsciousness coming for me. The blood rushed out of my head, my pores gushed sweat, and my vision dimmed. As I laid in a fetal position on the bathroom floor, it was a race to see which involuntary response was going to seize me first. The result was a very bad combination.

next morning

close up of burst vessels

Catherine awoke to her husband making strange moaning sounds in the bathroom. She came in to see why I was sleeping on the bathroom floor, and tried to wake me from my nightmare, but found me completely unresponsive. Worrying that I had thrown up and was laying face down in it, she tried to roll me over, but couldn't because my muscles were straining and my body was completely stiff. Flipping on the light, she was horrified to see my mouth wide open and eyes bulging, almost popping from their sockets. She frantically redoubled her efforts to get a response from me, and was just about to call 911 when my body relaxed and I began to respond.

As I came to, I felt Catherine shaking me and started to realize what must have happened. When one "wakes up" from fainting, it feels like awareness of your body slowly comes back on line, moving out from the center. By the time I could feel my arms and legs again, I realized that something was different about this episode. Normally, I can start moving my body relatively quickly, and after a short rest, walk away. This time, my muscles weren't working right. They were shaky, and incredibly weak - like how I feel after an intense workout. It took about 15 minutes to recover sufficiently so I was able to crawl over to the bed. After another rest, Catherine helped me up to the bed where I resumed my anti-sick strategy of not moving. Soon I was sleeping. It was short lived though, because within an hour my skin burst into a sweat and my stomach was clenching again. This time I didn't go for the bathroom, instead I just turned my head and threw up in an empty trash bin that Catherine was holding for me. With the expulsion of the poison, my sickness subsided and I was sleeping again, this time for the rest of the night. Catherine didn't sleep. She watched over me all night, making lists in her head of how to take care of our family as a widowed, single mother.

Finally morning came. My report to Catherine upon waking was that I was feeling fine. My muscles felt sore but nothing felt wrong. When I mentioned that my eye sockets hurt quite a bit, she told me about the seizure and my eyes bulging. I made an attempt to get up to brush my teeth and rinse out my mouth, and it worked. But when I got to the bathroom, what I saw in the mirror was shocking! Not only did I have blood spots in my eyes, but there were tiny red spots all over my face, neck, and chest. The strain and pressure during the seizure had been so great that hundreds of blood vessels had burst in my eyes and skin.

The sight of my grotesque skin and eyes, and the realization of how intense the seizure must have been, was enough to convince me to ask for a blessing. In the blessing I was counseled to go see a doctor, so we got a baby sitter. After being refused by the Urgent Care clinic, because they're "just not equipped to deal with seizures", we went to the ER. I made the mistake of telling the receptionist that I wasn't in any pain so we waited and waited, were taken to a room, and then waited some more. Finally we saw a doctor who listened to our story and told us that he believed there was no immediate danger or damage. He theorized that the intensity of the muscle seizing was a secondary effect of the vasovagal syncope, which had been compounded by the pre-existing sickness.
4 days later So in other words, it was the same as I normally experience, just more intense. He also recommended that I see a neurologist, and I have an appointment for July 17th.

Going out into public has been fun. It has been 4 days since the incident, and most people still can't look at me without their eyes watering. My skin is much better now, but my eyes are probably going to be like this for another 2 weeks. Still, it has been heart warming to see how much everyone cares about our family. We have been flooded with phone calls from well wishers, and Catherine has even stopped crying every time she tells the story. She loves me an awful lot! It is good to be loved.

Daddy-Daughter Campouts - Sat 6/17/2006
For three years now, Megan and I have made it a tradition to go backpacking together each summer. We take a tent, sleeping bags, and whatever else we can fit into our backpacks, and hike up into the mountains. With our tent set up and a fire blazing, we eat marshmallows and tell stories until bedtime. It is always a good daddy-daughter bonding time, and I think that she'll always have happy memories of our trips.

This year Jessica was old enough to go with us. She was so excited to go; I thought we might be up all night. The three of us shouldered our packs and hiked to the usual spot. Setting up camp was more work this year because the campsite was trashed. There was garbage everywhere; paper containers, plastic bags, beer cans, and bottles were all over the place. Meg and Jess were put on clean-up duty while I setup the tent. After burning the pile of trash that the girls had collected, we settled ourselves next to the fire and talked the night away. The girls wanted a scary story, so I started a telling of The Dead Bobcat. Usually the bobcat is killed by hunters, one of whom eats the cat's heart on a dare from the other. The Dead Bobcat stalks the hunters slashing them open to retrieve its heart out of their stomachs. But, when the girls announced that it was starting to get too scary, I had to quickly change the plot to so that it resolved happily with some butterflies and rainbows. After some more, happier, stories we went to bed.

Camping with girls presents an interesting problem. When I realized that I was going to be in the woods with two little girls who would need to go to the bathroom at some point during the trip, my brain started working, and I came up with my best piece of camping equipment ever! A picture is worth a thousand words, so I've included a picture of my portable, packable, padded camping toilet. It worked great - except for a little great-outdoors-stage-fright that both of the girls developed.

It was a very successful trip, and our daddy-daughter camping tradition is stronger than ever.

Learning to Ride a Bike - Wed 4/12/2006
Jessica is a bike rider! She made me wait until she turned 5 to take her training wheels off, but on her birthday she wouldn't let the sun go down without a bike riding lesson. We went around the cul-de-sac a few times, she was pedaling and I was jogging along, holding onto her seat. But it was cold outside in January and we didn't get in much practice over the next couple months.

Spring is here now and Monday night we rode bikes for our Family Night activity. I ran, holding Jess on her bike like before. This time she was quite stable, so we stepped up the lessons. The first thing was to teach her to use her brakes and put her foot down when she needed to stop. Once that was accomplished, I started pushing her off toward the front lawn. We started out small and then, with each success, we backed up to the next sidewalk crack. By the end of the night she was riding by herself for 20 feet, and stopping on the grass.

Tuesday evening, I took her out into the circle and gave her a push toward the house. She rode the 20 feet, kept going right up the rounded curb, and stopped on the grass of the park strip. In a few minutes she was riding across the whole cul-de-sac. The final feat of the night was riding all the way up the street that leads to our circle and stopping in her usual spot. She was very excited that night. The shouts and applause from her mom and Grandma Rose made Jessica's smile stretch from one ear to the other.

Today we did more practicing, but now she rides around and around the circle without stopping. She's got it! I wish I could have learned to ride my unicycle that fast.

Potty Training Hannah - Sun 1/22/2006
No more diapers for Hannah! Hurray! Saturday, and now Sunday, have been potty training days for our sweet little girl. We always opt for one high intensity day of training, so on Saturday we cleared out the kitchen area, set out the drinks and candies, and got to work. Hannah has done well. She has a firm understanding of the desire for dry panties, but is still working on the physical aspects of this new life changing set of habits. All in all, she is doing a great job. Yesterday after a long morning of hard work, she fell asleep while sitting on the potty chair. When Catherine and I asked her to get off, she declined because she didn't want to let her panties get wet. We were able to strike a compromise by making a little bed for her on the kitchen floor next to the potty chair. (click the image to make it larger) Hannah is very dedicated to being a 'big girl' like her older sisters. Hopefully by the end of today, she will have this toileting stuff down pat.

Hannah and I have had a lot of good one-on-one time during the training. It is very relationship building to spend that much time together with successes and failures peppering the day. I can see her personality, and she is learning about mine. I love my girls, and I love watching them as they learn life's lessons.

Update Tue 1/24/2006
Hannah is officially potty trained. She went all day yesterday with no accidents, and today she told Catherine that she needed to go potty, and did so, while they were at Walmart! Special thanks to Grandma-ma, who recommended the book, Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. We have had 100% success using this method with Megan, Jessica, and now Hannah.

This morning at 3:24 AM, Bethany (7 weeks old) started squirming and grunting in her crib. I awoke and retrieved her, along with a diaper and wipes. Just as I finished the diaper change, she let loose and filled it again. Catherine's side of the bed started shaking up and down as she laughed at me, and her voice said, "She does that to me all the time." I waited a good 5 minutes to make sure Beth was done, and began changing the diaper again. Looking into the diaper, I was just about to say, "It looks like she only did half a load" when the explosion occurred. Most of it hit me rather forcefully in the chest, but some of it sprayed up my neck and chin, with smatterings of mustard-yellow curdles all the way up to my forehead. Since I couldn't risk opening my mouth, I mumbled out the corner of my lips that Catherine needed to finish, and I headed for the bathroom. There I stood in the mirror, covered from my forehead to my knee caps in baby poop. Bethany had shot me from a good two feet away.

A shower and a change of bed sheets were in order, but Bethany did stop grunting. It was just a small moment in time, but a good illustration of how much we parents love our children.

Today, two days after the big day, we all went on a hike. Grandma, 6 adult children, and 7 grand-children embarked on an expedition to bury a treasure deep in the bowels of the red rock canyon. Our treasure consisted of a little money, but was mostly personal effects; such as tinsel rings, plastic bracelets, and notes written by the kids. Apart from the occasional whining from 2 or 4 year old girls, it was a blast. We where successful in our endeavor, and there is now a treasure deposited in our secret hiding place. Want to know where it is? Ha! You do! Well, to satisfy you, and to remind me, I have created a treasure map (click to enlarge). It is calculated to provide those of us who have been there with the location of the treasure, while being utterly useless to anyone who doesn't know where to start. During some future Thanksgiving, years from now, we shall go on a treasure hunt, and see if it is still there. It was a great Thanksgiving!

I came home from work and took the girls trick-or-treating. They were very cute; all three dressed up as cheerleaders. We got home with bags of candy, right around 7:30 PM. I walked in the door, and Catherine said, "I think I've been having contractions." As I walked into the bedroom with her, I saw her suitcase on the bed and a note pad with a list of times written on it. That was when I knew that it was going to be tonight. I got the baby car-seat and walked out to the car. As I passed through the family room Catherine's mom remarked, "Wow, you are getting serious." My reply of, "Yep, I'll be taking her to the hospital tonight" triggered a small victory dance from her. I took a quick shower, wondering when the next opportunity would be, and we were off to the hospital.

In the car, the contractions intensified. I am pretty sure that with all of our children, the contractions have gotten stronger on the drive to the hospital. I remember being worried about the check-in process. A month earlier, my sister-in-law, Melissa (Matt's wife), had given birth without an epidural because the hospital staff didn't get her checked in fast enough. I remember going over what I was going to say to the nurses at the front desk if they didn't admit us and give us a room right away. My formulating speech had sentence fragments like, "This is our 4th child," "Each labor has been faster than the last" "We know what we want, and we know how it is going to happen." My problem was that it was only 8:55 PM. It is a fine line to walk when my consecutive instructions to the nurse were going to be "Get us a room and anesthesia as fast as possible," and then "Slow down! We don't want to have this baby until 12:01 AM."

We arrived at the hospital at 9:10 PM. As it turned out, I didn't need a speech. We were admitted right away, and Catherine's legs were tingling by 10:15 PM. When the nurse checked her at 10:45, she was dilated to 6 cm. Catherine, the nurse, and I then made a plan: As long as the heart monitor on the baby continued to spit out favorable readings, Catherine was going to be left alone until midnight.

Nine games of Pocket PC solitaire later, the nurse re-appeared. We had just entered into November 1st. She checked things out, announced that Catherine was complete, and hurried off to call Dr. Tanner. I was feeling pretty good at this point; everything had worked out quite well. Dr. Tanner popped his head in the room at 25 after the hour and Bethany was born at 12:40 AM. She was a cookie-cutter baby. She looked just like my other girls when they were born. She was beautiful! Catherine and I admired her for a few seconds before the nurses took her over to the baby station to clean her up. I stayed with Catherine for the finalities of delivery, and then walked across the room while Dr. Tanner was suturing her episiotomy. I watched as the nurses scrubbed and rubbed and cleaned Bethany. They suctioned her stomach, mouth, and nose, and she started a really good cry. Catherine asked me how she was doing, and I told her that Beth's color was starting to look better.

That is when it started. I felt my blood pressure drop, and I knew that blood was leaving my brain. I have a history of fainting, and knew what it felt like, but I was in full denial this time. I had been through three births - no, four births now that Bethany was here. I wasn't going to faint. I just needed to sit down. I found a chair, and sat. As soon as I hit the chair, I knew it wasn't helping. I moved to lie down on the floor, and said out loud to Catherine, "I just need to lie down for a while." Except that isn't what I said, and that isn't what was heard. What Catherine heard was, "I just need to lie d" ..... clunk!!!!

I began to hear noises. A hand was rubbing up and down my back. Blackness was ebbing. "Jared. Jared. Jared?" I could hear a baby crying. Someone said, "He's coming to." I have toes. And I have fingers. I can wiggle them if want to try. I'm on the floor. My baby was just born. I was feeling light headed. "Oh, I passed out." "Yes you did" said a voice,"And you hit your head too." I hit my head. I can feel my toes, my knees, my fingers, my elbows. They all move fine. My back and neck feel fine. My head? Hmmmm. "Did I hit on my eyebrow?" "Yes" said the nurse,"That's right. It bled quite a lot, but has mostly stopped now. Do you think you can sit up yet?"

Well, I ended up going down to the emergency room to get some stitches of my own. When I got back, Catherine was very happy to see me. Word that I fainted slowly leaked out among my friends and family. Everyone who heard was delighted. At least it will always be a great story to tell on Bethany's birthdays.

The virus was pretty short lived, but very violent. I am convinced that its design was to empty my entire digestive tract as quickly as possible. I think that I ought to try to capture it in a bottle, propagate it, package it into pills and sell it as a Violent Cleanse. The propagating part should be easy, Megan got it Wednesday, and Hannah got it last night. My poor family. I gave Catherine a blessing that she wouldn't get it, so Jessica is the last variable. We should know by tonight.

First of all, we looked like a bunch of geeks. Just imagine, you are a tourist in San Francisco, you are taking pictures of the beautiful Greek style architecture and a bunch of guys wearing bright orange goggles are running around the pillars, shooting plastic guns at each other. I mean ... just look at the picture. I have to say that when we first put on the glasses and looked around at each other, I almost said, "Nope. Not going into a public place looking like this." But once the game started I lost all inhibitions. It was a blast! We ran in, out, between and around the pillars shooting our laser guns at each other for over an hour. And it was great exercise too.

The guns had many of cool features. When you pointed your gun at another player's gun you could hear and see (in your glasses) that you were locked onto a target. If you pulled the trigger right then, you would hit them. At the same time, they where warned that someone was locked onto them by a voice saying, "Danger" in their ear. The glasses have a heads up display and a speaker in them to give you information while you play. Each gun has a shield that can be activated for a limited amount of time. The guns could also be programmed to work together for team play. We played several different types of team games. In one game, three of us would hide and weren't able to shoot while the other three were seeking. After 60 seconds we would all hear a series of beeps in our headsets signaling that the hide and seek teams were reversed. That game was a lot of fun, but it ran us pretty hard.

During all of this, other tourists were walking around, looking at the scenery, taking pictures of each other, and trying not to get shot by us. They all laughed at us but some of them helped us out by saying, "He went that way". One very nice woman from Malaysia even took a picture with us. After the first 30 minutes, we had become pretty popular. I was worried about scaring people as we jumped out from behind pillars pointing our guns everywhere, but within a few minutes, every one knew we were there. We all had a great time.

When I got home from work I listened to the story and noticed that there were no scratches on her hands. I asked her why she didn't put her hands out to catch herself. She said that her hands were on the handlebars. I guess she just rode her bike all the way into the ground. Her chin took the full impact.

Catherine heard the scream from in the house and came to Megan's rescue. We'll be keeping neosporin on it to try to stop any scarring. That, and giving her lots of love and care.

Someday when Megan and Jessica are old enough to find this website, they will discover what happens at our house after all the children fall asleep.

You can click on the picture to see a larger view. If any of you build your own and take a picture of it, I'll post it here with mine. Get building and send me pictures.

Jessica's Swimming Breakthrough - Fri 7/1/2005


Jessica had a swimming breakthrough today! She goes underwater now! You'd have to have seen her yesterday to fully appreciate this. Yesterday we went swimming in a full sized pool. Jessica loves to be in the pool, but she absolutely refused to put her face in the water. After asking, pleading, and threatening for several minutes, we finally cheered and clapped as Jessica dipped her chin in the water. We settled for that.

Tonight we went out to the hot tub for more fun in the water. This time, we had a new weapon. Jessica's cousin Kadee was visiting. After a repeat of yesterday's techniques, Jessica was dipping her chin and mouth underwater. That is when we started the rounds. First I would hold Megan while she floated on her back. Since Meg had done it, Kadee had to try. After Meg and Kadee had both given demonstrations, the pressure was on for Jessica to perform. She did. This established the pattern that what ever Megan and Kadee did, Jessica would try. So I dunked them. First Meg, followed by a hesitant Kadee, and next a determined Jessica. Hannah even went underwater tonight.

Apparently the experience suited her, because Jessica started going underwater on her own after that. She would stand on the first step of the hot tub with her hands poised for submersion, and step down underwater. She popped back up to tumultuous applause and did it again...and again...and again.

She was playing with a gerbil, but then the gerbil wanted to play by itself. She left it and it played alone. Several days later, the gerbil wanted to play with Megan again but she said: Too bad. You wanted to play alone, now you can keep playing by your self. Then the gerbil went stiff and started flipping all over the place. It flipped out on the road and was stiff again. Megan went out into the road to pick it up and a truck came and almost hit her, but it stopped in time. The gerbil had died and as she ran back to the house with it in her hands, she woke up crying.

When she told us the story, she added that she gave the gerbil water and it came back to life, she admitted that this wasn't in the dream but that she had imagined this ending after she woke up. After she told us the dream, we laid her down in our bed and comforted her, telling her that we could hear her gerbils right now and they were safe. She started talking about how upset she was that sometimes she let days go by without playing with her gerbils. I told her how sometimes at night, after she is asleep, I sneak into her room and play with the gerbils. As we continued to talk and sooth, she settled down and fell back asleep.

Dreams are amazing. It is incredible how real they can feel, and how long the memories from them can last. I'll have to learn from Megan's dream and remember to play with my girls more often. Megan has had a hard time transitioning from a little girl that can jump on her daddy and fly in his arms to a seven year old that will hurt dad if she lands on him with out proper warning. It is even harder for her when she sees Hannah ride on my shoulders. She doesn't remember all the rides that she got before Hannah was born.

• I've always wanted Kaisa, but no one else in the United States seems to like it, so that's out again.
• Catherine likes Breanna and Bree, but she wants it pronounced Bree-ahna. I don't think that we'll have any control over how others will read and say that name.
• I like Jennifer and Jen, but Catherine didn't like that choice this morning.
• I suggested Bethany this morning but didn't know if Catherine had heard me. But later in the day, she called me at work and left a message that she likes Bethany Michelle.

So the first runner up is Bethany and Beth right now with Michelle as the middle name. We still have 4 months to decide. I have to admit that as I write this, the name Bethany is growing on me. I already liked it, but seeing it written here makes me like it even more. Check back for more name updates later.