Observations

My Dinosaur Theory - Fri 4/21/2006
I first came up with this theory while my brother-in-law and I were setting up our first reef aquarium at our place of business, in March of 2003. Since it was the process of setting up a 200 gallon saltwater, reef aquarium that inspired the development of the theory, allow me to share a little of the aquarium story. After that, the dinosaur theory will become clear.

We got the tank, got the stand, got the sump, got the skimmer, got the lights, got everything that we needed. Richard was the master marine architect, and I was something like the water boy. You know -- I got to tighten a few hose clamps and stare at the skimmer diagram for several minutes at a time -- things like that.

The point is, when the tank filled with water, I was excited.
   ....that's when the waiting began.

I asked Richard why we were emptying the tank. "We were just testing for leaks", he said. "Now we have to fill it with RO water." He lifted a small hose up to the display tank and turned it on. Trickle, trickle, trickle. This was taking forever....
   ....but, I was patient.

The trickling lasted for six long days. Finally, we added the salt and turned on the pumps. It was a great day. The live sand had come in the mail yesterday and the live rock would be here tomorrow. Things were really starting to hum now, so I decided that I'd better learn more about this nitrogen cycle thing Richard had been talking about.

"Six weeks?!?" I was heard to exclaim. "We have to wait six weeks for the tank to cycle before we can put even one fish in it?"
"With this much rock, it might be more like eight weeks." was the reply. "It takes time for the bacteria colonies to grow. First we'll have an ammonia spike and then a nitrite spike. After that, we can start populating the aquarium." This was going to take forever....
   ....but, I was patient.

A week passed by, and we waited. Another week - still, we waited. After the second week, we tested the water and it said something about ammonia being at toxic levels. Well.... there are other ways to test how the cycling is going than with these silly, and probably inaccurate, ammonia and nitrite test kits. During that third week, we couldn't wait any more. It wasn't our fault. Richard's college age daughter bought him a couple of fish for his birthday. They were only, a buck fifty a piece. I mean, really, we HAD to do it. What else were we going to do with these fish? After we dumped them in, we watched in delight as they swam happily in and out of the live rock....
   .... They were dead by the next morning.

After three full weeks, I was sure there would be some nitrite levels registering on the tests, but no. Our ammonia spike was so huge it couldn't even be measured, and we hadn't even started the nitrite bloom yet. A balanced tank was still a long way off.

So where is the dinosaur theory in all this? We're almost there. This next part of the story is where it begins to materialize. In the middle of the 4th week, I just couldn't take it any more. Besides my own boredom with the silent rock in the tank, everyone at work was pestering us about when there would be fish in the aquarium. After work one day, I snuck out to the local fish store and lied to the fish guy, telling him that our tank had been cycling for two months now. I bought three hermit crabs and raced back to work. After acclimatizing them to our death water in the secrecy of the sump, I took a quick glance over my shoulder and threw them in the display tank. The next day, when they were still alive, we named them; Seymour, Bubba, and Ed. They were a hit. We all loved watching them crawl around, day after day, as we waited for the cycling to finish.

Do you see it yet? If not, let me explain. The dinosaur theory goes like this...

God created the Earth; light, dark, water, land… you know how it starts. But, before he made the animals, he had to let it cycle! Somewhere in heaven some one probably exclaimed, "Six hundred million years?!?" And God replied, "With this ratio of land to ocean, probably more like eight hundred million. But don't worry; we'll just call it one 'creative period' in the log." So the way I figure it, after several hundred million years of listening to spirit children complain that the Earth was boring, God gave in and put some 'throw away creatures' down here. The ozone layer wasn't quite ready yet, the tectonic plates were still shifting too much, the oxygen levels weren't exactly where they needed to be, but you have to start with a few test creatures right? -- Dinosaurs. As soon as the parameters on Earth were right, God just dropped a meteor down to wipe out the dinosaurs and then He populated the Earth with the current inhabitants.

There it is, My Dinosaur Theory!

Terminal Cancer - Mon 10/20/2008
Discovery
We found out Friday, Oct 17th, that Catherine’s oldest brother, Rick, has been diagnosed with stage four gall bladder cancer. There are only 4 stages which means that Rick’s cancer is terminal and his life expectancy is suddenly 2 to 4 months.

Rick has been struggling with health issues for many years, but about two years ago they took a sharp turn for the worse and became severe health issues. The source of these problems, ulcerative colitis, became so acute that he had to have his entire colon removed. For almost two years Rick has been recovering from this surgery and adjusting to the change in his body. Because of ‘normal’ problems that occur when one has no large intestine and because of lingering complications and infection, the symptoms of the cancer’s development and growth where hidden. For the past week and a half Rick has experienced a persistent blockage in his small intestine that required surgical intervention. It was during this surgery, last Friday (October 17th ), that the cancer was discovered. It had already metastasized and spread prolifically. The surgical procedure was cancelled and all medical treatment immediately reprioritized to quality of life rather than longevity.

It has been a sobering and heart wrenching three days. It is one of those moments in life when you will always remember where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news. I want to write down some of the thoughts and feeling that I’ve had as I’ve internalized this news myself and watched Catherine struggling with the knowledge that death is coming quickly for her brother.

Rick and Michelle have had a wonderful influence on our children. Rick’s love of the outdoors and his ability to tease, poke, and pinch in any given situation makes him a unique force in the life of anyone who knows him. Michelle’s nurturing, kindness, attentiveness, and ability to feed masses of people make her a magnet for my 4 daughters. Together they are Rick and Michelle. We’ve spent Christmas mornings with Rick and Michelle, gone camping with Rick and Michelle, and had countless Sunday dinners with Rick and Michelle. I remember laughing together when our 3 year old Jessica actually believed that Michelle’s name was Rickandmichelle. We would point to Rick and she would say, “Uncle Rick” and we would point to Michelle and she would say, “Rickandmichelle”. I am so grateful for all the time they’ve spent as aunt and uncle to our children and all the time we’ve spent as aunt and uncle to theirs.

As for my own personal relationship with Rick … that can be summed up by the word ‘animals’. Grass hoppers launched in a model rocket, deafening frogs all night long, a moose in the salamander pond, salt water aquariums, an eel extraction at Suzy’s house, lizards, snakes, gerbils, chickens. Rick has always provided me with experience and equipment for keeping animals, and one or two of his sons for catching the creatures. He’s been a great older brother to me. And I have always wanted to prove myself to him, to try to show him that I was being a good husband to his little sister.

I had never really shared Catherine’s worries and fears, and I didn’t think much about Rick going in for another surgery on Friday. Catherine and I had a date that night and I was mostly thinking about that. But I did see Michelle at lunch on Friday. I asked her about the surgery scheduled for later that day and as she described it, I had a subtle impression that Rick would not last much longer. It was strong enough that I mentioned it to Catherine that night as we were getting ready for our date. I told her that I had felt like we needed to prepare for Rick to die soon and that it had been weird because I didn’t feel worried about the surgery. After we got out of the theater, we called Nichole from our car to find out how the surgery went and were told the news.

My reaction is different than Catherine’s. My tender feelings seem to center on Catherine’s relationship to Rick instead of my own. Today is Monday so I went back to work. Rick and I both work at Rescue Alert so the impossible news of his terminal cancer was rushing through the work place today. I was quickly discovered to be a source of first hand information, so I spent quite a bit of the day recounting the events and straitening out details. I have discovered, today, that I can talk about Rick’s condition, and the strength of his wife, and children without any problem. But when I talk about Catherine and Rick, when I try to express Catherine’s love for her brother I am silenced by my emotions and am unable continue. I can not adequately express the gratitude I feel for what Rick has done for his little sister; for the goodness that he has infused into her life and into mine. It just can’t be spoken.

Rick, Michelle, Adam, Nichole, Benjamin, Cameron and Alex – Catherine and I love you. We are proud to be your family. We are blessed to be your family. We will be here to love you in the coming months, and then after in the coming years. We will keep our faith and remain worthy to join with Rick again as family, sealed together by priesthood power as links in a chain in the kingdom of God.

I love you Rick. You are my wife’s bother, my children’s uncle, and my friend. I hope that in the coming weeks, the pain in your body will be tempered by the knowledge that we are grateful for the opportunity to spend these last moments in your presence here on this earth.

With love,
Jared

leave a comment